Last night I broke through the internal barrier. For 3 or 4 days before the meeting, I entertained ways that I could legitimize bailing out on it. The opposing side of my brain: true DESIRE to want to succeed and it’s trusty friend, LOGIC said: “LEAH, are you serious? You have been waiting to get involved and back into this passion of yours for months!” And even up until an hour before I was getting ready to leave for the meeting I thought “well, the weather is kind of crappy, so maybe I’ll just go home and relax instead.” Needless to say, I overcame those devilish little voices and found my way to the west village for my ”meeting.” Despite the consistent enthusiasm that I express for American Sign Language (ASL), I was finding that I felt daunted by restarting my practice in the “big city.” Learning ASL and conversating with other new signers at New Paltz, was exciting. To be in a classroom setting was equivalent to being in a confined little womb of people who were more-or-less on the same level as me. It was my ASL “comfort zone.” But here in New York, it has proven true that in order to get involved, noone can make it happen but you. A scary thought for me. But If I want to be fluent or at least able enough to conversate fluidly, I knew I had to make a solid move. I finally found the sign group that I needed to fulfill that vague pang that I feel for the desire to be non-verbal, in that way. It takes drive to commit. And sure there were moments during the hours between 6:30 and 8pm last night, when I felt sweat beads forming underneath my arms as I observed native signers and level 4 conversationalists move their hands at epic speeds. But appropriately, it made my heart spring from its state of hibernation. I cannot continue with the blatant feeling of vacancy anymore; of dissatisfaction. I think that it has come time to act upon what is possible. Don’t you?